currently writing a personal statement, and it really kills, because it always makes me question myself, and I always have to give a justified, valid reason. I can't just say i like math.. because. that ain't valid. but why not? could it be that its beauty and rigour is something so deep within my soul, that words can hardly encompass what i feel when i do math? it brings me joy, as in I FEEL JOY, when i'm doing math, but is that not enough? also, of course i do not write stuff that i don't believe in my personal statements, thats terrible because its like lying, but if i write too fluffy/beautifully, is that not lying as well....?! hmm. also, i guess writing ps really made me question very hard why i like math, and i still can't offer a good enough reason. because simple things like what i feel, is not enough. it also makes me question what type of person i am, and if i am "this particular type", but if "this particular type" is not good enough, is not what you are looking for, then.... HOW. but definitely one thing i realised, i am a lazy thinker. or rather, i am a think-already-and-keep-in-cupboard type of thinker. sometimes i also do not think, because after doing so, i will keep-in-cupboard. so, i just save brain cells, and skip the thinking process. hmmmmmmmmm. i guess thinking is useful for vomit-ing on my blog. *lol*. what is the point of it, besides fun? idk. i think, so i may have thoughtful conversations with people, gaining new thoughts and insights, so i may have more thoughtful conversations with people. so the whole point, really, is about interaction with people! ah-ha! eureka. i'm gonna incorporate that into my ps. (correct me if i'm flawed here. i mean, u don't think just so you can talk to yourself right. any other output, e.g. books/blogs are also part of interactions with others, as in you telling other people. further actions taken resulting from thought, would definitely fall under interactions with others as well.)
ok that was somewhat fruitful.
now here's my response to a Facebook post (no i do not have Facebook. friend screenshot and sent to me, for reasons undisclosed here. I'm also not gonna briefly sum the Facebook post, so its probably gonna be gibberish)
i think that, it was definitely uncalled for to label others' actions (in this case, "display of affections") as "disgusting". that is harsh, and it just seems like general sweep for all "display of affections". in that particular form of public make-out and cuddling, by that label of "disgusting", it seems to undermine their "love" (which may or may not be true, love), and... well you don't have to right to do that. (this is a loophole, which can be corrected as such: "it is disgusting TO ME".) a more elaborate argument could be formed by looking at the cause of "display of affections", and that label would address that, but i am not so interested in forming that argument. moving on. "running out of patience" with society and its workings is.... somewhat shallow in my opinion. society does not revolve around you. you are a tiny p in society (yes i typed p because i couldn't decide point, person, droP, dot (no p here)). i do not understand this, how can you "run out of patience" with society? is it supposed to offer you something? is it supposed to change itself to suit your liking? equivalently, you are probably saying something like "i'm fed-up with society", but i do not entirely understand that as well. are we all not part of society? i think that there are much deeper nuances to "society", that if we dug deeper in attempts to understand, shallow yells like "running out of patience" would unlikely be uttered. such "displays" (in my opinion), were you to trace the root, can likely be found in sin and the Devil, so......... next. I do, however, agree with single-hood, and advantages listed. in an honest soul-baring session (right nowlol) : i find myself, very slightly concerned with (prospects of) companionship, and really i should not be, because God's got it. it is natural and human (not trying to make an excuse) to dwell on it, as we were created in His image. This explains a lot. In His image, yet, there is an undeniable desire for companionship, so, this implies He has such a desire too. and His desire is for US. that's right, God longs for us. not us as in a whole, but us as in you and me, individuals. He longs for you. He longs for me. and I should not be so blind to overlook it. So, really, i should not be concerned with companionship, for He is with me. in His perfect time.
i guess that seemed like a diss post, but.... we all need an avenue for thoughts, don't we.
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